Queen DeBora

Ne, Queen DeBora Jean Fuglunta-Fazoot

Of the twelve Temple Rulers across the entirety of Terra Aqua, Queen DeBora is the most personally murderous and despotic. Plenty of the current class of rulers will murder and order the deaths of this person or that, but DeBora holds the distinction of doing the killing herself. This is due to her tail.

Several of history’s most notorious rulers have done the killing themselves utilizing their own appendages. The closest resemblant would be King Gregor Gnarrlls “the Secretionous” (Temple Two, 1448 to 1477) who was born with a stinger-tail. His tail was rumored to kill people without his prompting… in mid sentence… during what most would consider pleasant conversation. Eventually the King and his court came up with a work-around whereby they wrapped his stinger with a heavy cloth and held it in place with a tight belt. It wasn’t a perfect solution, as King Gregor’s stinger continued to seep poison, even as it was wrapped in cloth. And though wet and damp, and frequently rinsed, his tail would still punch members of his court randomly about the neck and lower skull with murderous intent. The effect was much like being punched with a boxing glove soaked with poison. … So, people still got sick. Except for the courtiers who gradually acclimated themselves to King Gregor’s poison by dosing themselves with it, they didn’t get sick outwardly, immediately. Instead they became slavishly addicted to the King’s tail poison and gradually turned into cultish zombies.

(Holy Seacow! I gotta do more research into this guy. This is a Bestselling Historical Epic Trilogy, easy! TempleWiki is crazy with this guy’s stories. Except for the part where, at the height of his powers, he gives it all up – and his Temple rulership – in favor of pillow embroidery. Except for that, it’s all really compelling stuff. Can’t really change that ending, though. Geez. Still trying to wrap my head around wet pillows soaked in poison.)

Anyhoo. Obviously, if Queen DeBora were to “give-it-all-up” for a straight job with little-to-no murder, she’d be an excellent butcher. Like sushi chef/butcher… salmon butcher, not a mer-butcher. Of which she already is. Ahem.

And I’m sure Salmon, as a whole, wouldn’t see much of a distinction here.

Look, I’ve gotten off track.

Suffice it to say that, my original point was that Queen DeBora kills with her tail much the same as King Gregor six centuries ago. Only DeBora and her tail (named “Destiny”*) are very much a homicidal team. On the same page – as it were. DeBora is well aware of Gregor’s kill count, and has already surpassed it. She’s competitive in that way.

*By the way, King Gregor named his tail “My Bother.” As in: when it killed someone abruptly he would say, “Oh, My Bother.” (Damnit! Now I have to go build another website. Fucking spin-off stories.)

Okay, okay. Please don’t tell Queen Fuglunta that I went on and on about Ancient King Gregor Gnarrlls “The Secretionator” or whatever. If she found out I got off-topic, she would wrap me up once-around with that eel-tail of hers and “Fswipp!” cut my carotid artery. She wouldn’t just behead me all quick-like. No sir. She’d aim my arterial spray at her face and lap it up like a barn cat lapping up fresh squeezed cow’s milk sprayed directly from the utter. … Which is a whole analogy lost on merfolk.

She might just behead me, though (for simplicity’s sake) and toss me aside. Maybe I have an overblown sense of myself and the taste of my own arterial spray. However, she has been known to behead a mer or two and then feast upon their neck-stump(s). I guess it depends upon how hungry she is. See? That’s what I’m saying. She’s no joke.